at the moment
LIVIN' THROUGH
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India has witnessed a far-reaching redesign in the way the present generation perceive relationships to be. We have not only moved away from the conventional notions of marriage but also given birth to concepts like live in relationships. The country has adopted this style of living for the couple who can walk in and walk out of the relationship with no strings attached.This revamp in habitual mental attitude among people has risen due to various reasons like freedom from normative behavior, privacy, global interference, educated youth, variety and open minded professions. It cannot be seen as an escape from commitment as even in this form of relationship, you love the person. Though it may be easier to walk out of the relationship, it doesn’t mean that the two don’t share a bond. They look at it as an opportunity to learn about the partner and how their personalities can complement each others’.
In an interview with Ananya Kapoor and Amar Mittal, 26 and 28 a couple who reside in Miller’s road, Bangalore in a live relationship stated that they mutually agreed to move in together 10 months back and were in a long distance relationship for a period of a two years, “It was a very natural process, not planned or decided”, says Ananya. They both found house hunting a very tiring job, as “The society would not open their doors for us. It was a matter of not only judgement but also monetary because if we ever decide to split, the owner will face a loss, it would be quite uncertain for them”.
When asked about the parent’s reaction, Ananya said it was more important for her to let her parents know as she stayed with them, “My mother is very supportive and open to adapting herself to changes, it was easy to speak to her and tell her that I was planning to shift with Amar.” The two haven’t opened up about their living to the society yet but their friends and colleagues are well-aware.
Living with the same person day in and day out can become boring very soon if not for the people who make it fun. “It becomes our duty to find the spark in the smallest of things we do and make it exciting for each other”.
It is also easy to assume that your personal space could be affected in a scenario like this but according to Ananya, “A relationship is mature when you are able to find your space while living with the other one.” For Amar, “Fights become easier to sort out as we are now in front of each other and have the liberty to explain or to speak it out.”
“This relationship is not a compulsion of any kind for either of us, we both have goals of our own, both professionally and personally that we’d like to achieve before we look into ‘marriage’ neither are we pressurized to. We feel we have a lot more to discover and learn about this relationship and about each other” ,says Ananya.
Bollywood has made movies that are centered around live-in relationship for their audience like Ok Jannu, Lukka Chuppi, Katti Batti, Salam Namaste and so on. It could be a grey area that will take time to clear up in the minds of people what we really need to understand is that we need to let people just be, not interfere in their life or pass comments on what we accept or deny. We need not determine the status of living for another person simply because it is not our own. The apex court in their legal laws do state that if a man and woman in love if decide upon living together is not a criminal offence as it is a part of the ‘right to life’. Therefore, live-in relationships are legal in India and are rapidly picking up with young people.
Life did change for Ananya personally, as she saw this as a form of personal growth, “I now pay my own bills, shop grocery and have a budget to maintain of my own for myself.” Perhaps, personal growth and liberation is what she got in return. “On what to watch, we decide it together. Sometimes, we watch what the other wants to.” Amar cooks for the two of them mostly or they order in what each one likes for themselves.
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Time needs to be spent in the right way for it to be worthy. During leisure, the couple does things that they both like equally. “For valentines, he gifted me a couple’s pottery workshop and that’s where we’re off to today.” It is truly the smaller things we need to acknowledge and appreciate for that’s when we can be happier.
A day in the life of the pair is shown by these pictures.
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Does generation gap affect how marriage is percieved ?
-written and compiled by Spurthi Eyathirajulu